Teaching Our Children
Independence
Why we need to encourage our children to
be independent
Sometimes as parents we can hinder our child’s
independence by doing more for them than they
need. We might not even realize we are doing it;
 we just love our
children and want to take care of them. So why is
independence so important? A child who is
independent will feel more confident about
themselves especially in situations when you are
not there. Even as adults it feels really good
when we accomplish something that we have worked
so hard at, this is true for children too. So when
your child puts their socks on or zips there
jacket up for the first time without any help they
feel so proud, finally all their practice and hard
work paid off. Also when a child can do things on
their own it gives them opportunities to help or
teach other children. Helping others also develops
confidence, compassion, and healthy self-esteem.
Don’t forget children do learn from each other and
through role modeling. When a child is confident
and has a healthy level of self-esteem they
naturally will want to learn new things and take
on new challenges. For example a child who has
repeatedly worked on a 25 piece puzzle and finally
does it without any help, will naturally want to
try a puzzle that offers a new challenge such as
more pieces. Or a child who has continually tried
to get the basketball in the hoop and finally does
it, that child after doing it a few times will
want a new challenge by raising the net up higher.
Isn’t that what most parents want for their child,
to develop a love to learn new things and to show
compassion by helping others? Well this can’t
happen if a child isn’t given the opportunity to
try and do things for themselves. Parents need to
encourage independence by taking a step back, a
deep breath, and watch patiently, such as when
your toddler takes ten minutes to put their shoes
on, when we can do it in two seconds. If we don’t
we are actually doing more harm than good by not
allowing our children to try, and when they do try
but don’t succeed we need to encourage them to try
again instead of jumping in and taking over.
Practical Life Skills
| Learning practical life skills is so
important to further a child’s independence. It
can help children feel less nervous when being
placed in a new setting such as daycare, school,
or at a friend’s house for a play date. For
example if your child is confident getting their
outdoor clothes on, they won’t need to wait for
help when going outside for recess or playing in
the backyard. Also this is a great example
(especially if your child is in a multi-age
group) a time when your |
| of
independent confident child can help the teacher
or caregiver with the other children’s coats. Now
how good would that feel not only helping another
child but helping an adult too? What a great boost
for your child’s self-esteem! At this point you
might be thinking this sounds wonderful but how do
I do this or maybe you feel I just don’t have the
time. Well in the beginning it is hard work and it
does take a lot of patience and extra time, but
with just a few small changes around your home it
can be achieved. Believe it or not even young
children can be very helpful around the house,
which can save you time. No matter what age your
child is it’s never too late to start.
|
